"...Look. I'm not planning to start any fights, but I'm not going to turn around and run from them either. I've been trained for it. Just because I can kill someone doesn't mean it's a hobby. Having a weapon to defend myself would be useful but it's not necessary, and the Moonstone isn't either. Are we done with this conversation?"
“I don’t believe I tied you to the chair so the conversation is done when you say it’s done.”
He sighs and rubs at his temple. Then he lets out a huff.
“I’m not- lovely, I don’t put things well, but I sincerely want to help you. I don’t think you want to be dead. I don’t think you want to be trapped. If I’m wrong, please, tell me.”
"No. You're not wrong. And trust me, I don't want 'lovely'."
She sips her tea.
"But every time I ask you to even have an opinion on how I'm going to get
out of here, you just turn it around on me and say that I'm the one who's
going to do all the work and I'm the expert on me. Which, okay, I don't
disagree. I just don't get how you're going to help if you're not going to
do anything."
“…because I don’t know anything about you. And this-“ he points at the folder, “will tell me facts. But it won’t tell me that either.”
He spreads one hand. “A piece of paper can tell you the town I’m from and that I was raised by my grandmother. I’m sure it’s evoked a certain image even now. But that image becomes something else when I tell you that I ran away constantly, that I wanted nothing more than to get away from her because I knew she didn’t want me there. That I was a burden to her, not someone to love. And children feel those things keenly.”
He folds his hands.
“I never said you’ll do all the work. I said you’re a part of figuring out what we’re doing. And that I won’t force you to do it. I barely know you. Any goal or idea I’d put forth would be patronizing at best and useless at worst. If you want my theories, I’ll give them but I wanted to give you a chance to come forward with something first.”
"Yeah. I was. And then I had to relearn how to do everything with my left
hand, because she couldn't just trust me. She was - she thought she was
my best friend. But that's not how it is anymore."
"That was when I knew I couldn't trust her. I started being trouble when I
took the Moonstone."
Ugh, more explanation.
"...It was meant to be her job to take it, her destiny, because she had
its opposite. The Sundrop. She'd been warned that letting them make contact
might kill her but she didn't care."
"It's not that she's dumb. She's just...out there, not listening to good
advice, taking any opportunity she can to sacrifice herself for the
greater good."
Well, things do seem to be making more and more sense now, don't they?
"She doesn't see the value in herself. Even though you keep trying to tell her or" he glances at her glove, "show her. Make her realize what she's doing."
"Yeah. But it's no surprise. She was kidnapped when she was a baby. Kept in
a literal tower for eighteen years and used for the powers she was born
with, and all the time her 'mom' was raising her to think that she was
only worth anything if she was useful. And yeah, she escaped, but some
things you just can't get away from."
"No," he agrees, "but there comes a point where you're hurting other people with it, such as that scene I saw during the flood. And at that point, it's no longer an excuse. What she did to you was wrong. What she did was stupid. Her past explains that, but it doesn't give her carte blanche to swing her own trauma around like a club and inflict it on others."
He sips his cooling tea.
"And I say that as someone who had to learn that lesson myself."
Yes, and Jon is catching on from that silence that no one's validated her feelings on this the whole time. Right now, he couldn't give an entire rainbow-colored unicorn fart about Rapunzel's feelings.
His tone, however, is a little gentler.
"...it matters to you. So yes, it matters. In fact, I'm going to go a step further and point out that you matter. That's what all of this is about, Cassandra. Not about what 'problem' you are to others."
He sighs and finishes off his cup before putting it down, reaching over to pour out a little more for himself. It won't have the milk, but he'll live.
"My particular problem makes it terribly inelegant to get information, but I'd love to hear more about why it'd 'bother' you, dying to her."
"Well, if you want one observation from a warden, here's your first: you're very quick to decide things 'don't matter' but I think it's much more that 'that's the way everyone says they are and I can't change that'. The second one? You think it's easier to pretend that nothing phases you than deal with the things that make you uncomfortable. Looking at them makes you even more uncomfortable. Add the two together to get three, and I'm going to come to the conclusion that you've always had your feelings, your ambitions, your beliefs and your thoughts placed firmly behind that of others and while you're livid about it, some part of you believes it too."
And he'll only pause for a moment before-
"Let me know if I hit anything. Preferably not by hitting me."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 04:38 pm (UTC)"...Look. I'm not planning to start any fights, but I'm not going to turn around and run from them either. I've been trained for it. Just because I can kill someone doesn't mean it's a hobby. Having a weapon to defend myself would be useful but it's not necessary, and the Moonstone isn't either. Are we done with this conversation?"
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 04:51 pm (UTC)He sighs and rubs at his temple. Then he lets out a huff.
“I’m not- lovely, I don’t put things well, but I sincerely want to help you. I don’t think you want to be dead. I don’t think you want to be trapped. If I’m wrong, please, tell me.”
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 04:56 pm (UTC)"No. You're not wrong. And trust me, I don't want 'lovely'."
She sips her tea.
"But every time I ask you to even have an opinion on how I'm going to get out of here, you just turn it around on me and say that I'm the one who's going to do all the work and I'm the expert on me. Which, okay, I don't disagree. I just don't get how you're going to help if you're not going to do anything."
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 05:05 pm (UTC)He spreads one hand. “A piece of paper can tell you the town I’m from and that I was raised by my grandmother. I’m sure it’s evoked a certain image even now. But that image becomes something else when I tell you that I ran away constantly, that I wanted nothing more than to get away from her because I knew she didn’t want me there. That I was a burden to her, not someone to love. And children feel those things keenly.”
He folds his hands.
“I never said you’ll do all the work. I said you’re a part of figuring out what we’re doing. And that I won’t force you to do it. I barely know you. Any goal or idea I’d put forth would be patronizing at best and useless at worst. If you want my theories, I’ll give them but I wanted to give you a chance to come forward with something first.”
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 05:11 pm (UTC)She shrugs expressively.
"Well, all I've gathered so far is how I'm trapped here until I turn back into the loyal doormat everybody wanted me to be, so. Theory me."
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 05:26 pm (UTC)"That. Let's start with that. Why you think I or anyone else wants you to be a loyal doormat."
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 05:30 pm (UTC)"Not you. The Admiral, I guess. And basically everybody back home. Because back when I was that, I wasn't a problem."
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 05:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 05:39 pm (UTC)Cassandra scoffs into her teacup.
"Everybody you saw in my memory, for one thing. All her friends. Her whole kingdom."
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 05:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 05:49 pm (UTC)Her eyes narrow.
"Yeah. I was. And then I had to relearn how to do everything with my left hand, because she couldn't just trust me. She was - she thought she was my best friend. But that's not how it is anymore."
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 06:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 06:08 pm (UTC)"That was when I knew I couldn't trust her. I started being trouble when I took the Moonstone."
Ugh, more explanation.
"...It was meant to be her job to take it, her destiny, because she had its opposite. The Sundrop. She'd been warned that letting them make contact might kill her but she didn't care."
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 06:12 pm (UTC)Because there's being trouble for people in the present and then there's being trouble for magical whatever.
"Or why they'd decide that if it would kill her."
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 06:22 pm (UTC)Cassandra lifts her eyebrows in his direction.
"She believed it and she marched right up to take the thing anyway. Does all that other stuff matter?"
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 06:23 pm (UTC)"...I hope you won't be upset if I'm starting to doubt your friend is very bright." A pause. "But yes, it rather does."
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 06:31 pm (UTC)Cassandra barks out a harsh laugh.
"It's not that she's dumb. She's just...out there, not listening to good advice, taking any opportunity she can to sacrifice herself for the greater good."
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 06:38 pm (UTC)Ah.
Well, things do seem to be making more and more sense now, don't they?
"She doesn't see the value in herself. Even though you keep trying to tell her or" he glances at her glove, "show her. Make her realize what she's doing."
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 06:47 pm (UTC)"Yeah. But it's no surprise. She was kidnapped when she was a baby. Kept in a literal tower for eighteen years and used for the powers she was born with, and all the time her 'mom' was raising her to think that she was only worth anything if she was useful. And yeah, she escaped, but some things you just can't get away from."
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 06:51 pm (UTC)He sips his cooling tea.
"And I say that as someone who had to learn that lesson myself."
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 06:57 pm (UTC)Cassandra is just silent for several moments, because people back home just don't use words like 'wrong' or 'stupid' to describe Rapunzel.
"...It doesn't matter anymore. I'd say I don't care what she does? But she did probably kill me, and that bothers me a little."
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 07:04 pm (UTC)His tone, however, is a little gentler.
"...it matters to you. So yes, it matters. In fact, I'm going to go a step further and point out that you matter. That's what all of this is about, Cassandra. Not about what 'problem' you are to others."
He sighs and finishes off his cup before putting it down, reaching over to pour out a little more for himself. It won't have the milk, but he'll live.
"My particular problem makes it terribly inelegant to get information, but I'd love to hear more about why it'd 'bother' you, dying to her."
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 07:08 pm (UTC)"...Because I'm dead. And I'm here. On the stupid space boat."
She gives him a look that adds it's not that complicated, guy.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 07:18 pm (UTC)"Well, if you want one observation from a warden, here's your first: you're very quick to decide things 'don't matter' but I think it's much more that 'that's the way everyone says they are and I can't change that'. The second one? You think it's easier to pretend that nothing phases you than deal with the things that make you uncomfortable. Looking at them makes you even more uncomfortable. Add the two together to get three, and I'm going to come to the conclusion that you've always had your feelings, your ambitions, your beliefs and your thoughts placed firmly behind that of others and while you're livid about it, some part of you believes it too."
And he'll only pause for a moment before-
"Let me know if I hit anything. Preferably not by hitting me."
no subject
Date: 2021-07-02 07:22 pm (UTC)Cassandra just shrugs.
"Yeah. You're right. What, do you think I'm gonna get mad at you for noticing stuff? It doesn't change anything I've said."
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